The Waiting Game

The Waiting Game
Does nail-biting anxiety wash over you as you await results after a colonoscopy, MRI, or CT scan? Or restlessness while waiting for your latest round of biologics to start kicking in? Yeah, me too. I sit here today twiddling my thumbs endlessly as I await my ileoscopy and upper endoscopy biopsies from last week. This form of anxiety is all part of the waiting game. We patients live in constant agony while test results are pending, especially when a definitive diagnosis depends on those results. We worry as we take dose after dose of the latest round of immunosuppressants, earnestly hoping that this medication will be "it" — remission, finally. These feelings are normal in that we don’t in the least bit want to suffer anymore. Waiting for results can be nerve-wracking, as our minds swirl with all sorts of “what-if” scenarios: What if my disease is back? What if I need to change my medication? What if I need surgery? Oftentimes, inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) feels relentless; our intestines act on their own whims. And other times, going through the belaboring process of testing and trying medications evokes a deep trauma. When living through multiple flare-ups and an endless stream of diagnoses closing in on our world, it is natural to fear the worst and lose patience. However, something we may not realize is that there is beauty in the waiting game as well. And that beauty lies in a greater good; one that teaches us that patience is really, truly, and painstakingly, a virtue. After all, waiting helps us find our poise in the midst of chaos. And that poise provides us with an inner strength to persevere. It's a poise that can be harnessed
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