I’ve been off prednisone for a little less than a week. It’s weird to get up, have breakfast, and not reach for my daily pills. Things have been going pretty well so far. As I had been lowering my daily dosage, I had noticed a few symptoms coming back — the occasional pain or discomfort, but nothing I can’t handle. I’ve needed only percocet once or twice, and the pain hasn’t gone on for too long. But I’m still really nervous that Crohn’s will come back in all of it’s un-fun glory. It’s happened before.
I’ve been on low dosages of prednisone and have gotten very sick. I rarely get off of prednisone without getting sick, and needing to go back on a high dose of it. But there have been other times I’ve gone a few weeks without being sick, only to start all over again. So you can understand why I’m nervous.
Tomorrow I’m going on a short, two-day trip to Florida to meet with some friends from around the country. We’ve been planning our reunion for months, and I’m really excited about it. I haven’t seen any of them in a long time and we’ve all been friends for 20 years.
But lurking behind my excitement is nervousness. What if a flare starts tomorrow as I’m leaving? What if it starts in the middle of Disney World, of all places? What if I get sick overnight with my friend in the room? What if I can’t participate in all of the fun? What if? What if? What if?
I’m doing what I can to avoid, or at least to manage, the “what ifs.” I’m bringing emergency prednisone with me to take at a moment’s notice if needed. I’m bringing emergency percocet for any pain. I’ve told my friends that I might not have the same energy as they have. Even though I am technically in remission, I don’t have the normal energy of someone my age. I’m exhausted most of the time, and physical activity is a huge effort. So, I’m doing what I can to avoid a disaster. (I’ve gone on trips less prepared and I’ve always paid the price.)
I guess I’ll “see” all of you when I’m back next week with another column. Hopefully I’ll have only good things to report about my trip.
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